The Spirit

What a piece of shit. oh my gawd. I can not even really put into words how much i hate this movie. It's been about half a year since i've seen it and i still can't get over it. It's the worst movie i've ever seen. PERIOD.

If you haven't heard it, The Spirit is a movie adaption of a comic created by a genius named Will Eisner. Unfortunately, that genius was destroyed by some fucking asshole named Frank Miller. Fuck you, Frank. Seriously. FUCK YOU.

I don't remember the plot to this movie simply because there really wasn't one. And if there was i don't remember it. It's so deeply buried in FAIL that it's hard to recognize. I remember the movie starting off with some asshole (the main character, The Spirit) getting dressed and jumping across rooftops and narrating some nonsense about the city. It's captured in what can only be the cheesiest direction and special effects in history. and the movie only goes down from there. The Spirit gets into a fight with The Octopus, protrayed by Samuel Jackson. They start beating the hell out of each other which was mildly entertaining. Smashing each other with toilets that came out of nowhere and punching each other in the face 20 times.

And then I don't know what the fuck happens. I can't describe it any other way. It's a clusterfuck of nonsensical mind rape. I have never in my life been more disappointed and upset by a movie (or anything really) until i saw this. And i paid $9 for it! I could have stuffed that money in a goat's ass and gotten more entertainment.

I would rather pull my toenails off one by one than watch this movie again.
I'd butter Prnce's ass and call him a "biscuit" before i see this movie again.
I'd punch a baby in the face before i see this movie again.
I'd eat a burrito Dick Cheney farted on before i see this movie again.
You'd think i'm exaggerating and playing around but i'm not. Not even a little bit. All of these options sounds better than seeing this movie again.

Fuck you, Frank Miller. You asshole.